Ahh the glamour!

I’m pretty sure most people think that taking BMX photo’s is one of the most glamorous things a person can do. Ever. And for the most part they are right! There’s the leather jackets, Instant access to the woman of your choice, beautiful locations such as old industrial estates and dero warehouses. Not to mention people just generally wanting to be your friend and carry your 15KG camera bag round so you can actually hop stuff and do manuals while riding to different spots. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

Reality checks are something I personally like to steer clear of. Saturday was like any other normal day of photography, money and women. I was just hanging, waiting to get a picture of merman doing a ledge of no considerable ease. I left a 20 minute window between my pedicure and wine tasting to get the thing done. Plenty of time I thought. The Chauffer won’t even need to turn the engine off. I set up and found a pleasing angle, lying on a tarmac carpark floor. A tad cold I thought, I should have brought the two small boys I normally have accompany me so they could lie underneath and provide padding and insulation. Mental note taken.

Now I’m not knocking Merman in any way shape or form, but the 20 minute lie down turned in to a 40 minute lie down turned in to an hour or so lie down. Merman just didn’t relent (apart from 2 minutes running off a dead leg) meaning the cold side of my body went in to near shut down to keep my vital organs working, my craning neck was severely aching and my trigger finger was so cold that I was unsure if I could control it well enough to fire any pictures at all. Top this off with more than one passer by mentioning the fact that I looked like I’d been run over (I was pretty much under a Porsche Cayenne) and others trying to talk cameras and it was getting rather ‘samey’.

Today, it has to be said, the ledge won. Now I’m tempted to publish a picture of said failed attempts, but I will save the picture for the day Merman wins. It would be an injustice not to. I have added an illustration to perhaps demonstrate what demons David had to battle that day. Nobody begrudged him. (Though having said that I did have to cancel the wine tasting, the Indian massage and my debating session with good friend and fellow philosopher Dr Gunther Olaf-Denk.) I think Dr Olaf-Denk would like to have words with Merlin, although he probably wouldn’t understand any of them.

Should my helicopter be serviced in time I will be back in a couple of weeks. I will have the gas heaters and on-site catering standing by.

This is BMX after all!

You can click the picture to enlarge it if you need to. It is probably worth mentioning that the stair set somewhat narrower and much longer than sown in this crude mock-up.